Nothing happened

The day has arrived*; the dragons are unleashed. How excited are you? Two bank holidays and a weekend, and still it is May the twenty second for some. It is time to reveal the finale, having come across Lambton Worm, a tale about a young squire who went fishing on a Sunday morn when he should not have done with terrible consequences for the people who lived on both sides of the Wear, Coco thought Coco would paraphrase some of it with another dragon tale about a different young squire (young ‘un) in a not so proper dialect sung in an awful Geordie accent.

I would find it hard to think that anyone would take offence at the content of the video (you have been warned), but should you find that the link has been broken, there is a back up copy here: http://purechocolate.org.uk/music_other/auspiciousday.htm.

Apologies to those who understand neither spoken nor written Geordie. There is a partial transcription here, but if this works properly you shall see that embedded below in an iframe. Some words do still defeat Coco. Apologies to those who do speak and read Geordie also for orthographic, linguistic, dialectical, grammatical, innocent and deliberate errors. You’ll also find a link to the original Lambton Worm in the same place. Please pay careful attention to the refrain, as it asks you to do.

In nineteen hundred an eighty nine On May the twenty second A young ‘un walked into a skwah For a most auspicious date. It wuz the day when nuthin’ ‘appened But George the third wuz born. It wuz the day they aall escaped From Dunkirk where they’d aall gan. Whisht! Lads, haad yor gobs, An aa’ll tell ye’s aall an aaful story. Whisht! Lads, haad yor gobs, An’ aa’ll tell ye’s ‘boot the skwah. It wuz the day they aall be’aivd An brought to end the war, An the Treaty of Trianon was signed Which left sum very sore. It wuz the day when Tonga’s king Gave up his protection. They joined the Commonwealth, ye ken, In nineteen seventy nun. Whisht! Lads, haad yor gobs, An Aa’ll tell ye’s aall an aaful story. Whisht! Lads, haad yor gobs, An’ Aa’ll tell ye’s ‘boot the skwah.

It wuz the day when nuthin’ ‘appened An ‘ad they aall be’aivd, They’d aall escaped, an ower young man Wud ’av lost out on his date. If nuthin’ ‘appened on that day, If they ‘ad aall be’aivd, Then why not yak aboot the skwah An tyen men who were there? Whisht! Lads, haad yor gobs, An Aa’ll tell ye’s aall an aaful story. Whisht! Lads, haad yor gobs, An’ Aa’ll tell ye’s ‘boot the skwah. Noo if ye canna unnerstand The werds that Aa’ve just said Then speak to Jules aboot his werk An to Greg’ry in ‘is stead. For it is safe so much to say But nuthin’ more, ye ken, For if they mind of ower tale They’ll hoy us in yon den Noo lads, Aa’ll haad me gob, That’s aall Aa knaa aboot the story Ov ower skwah’s clivvor job On’ that aaful Sun’y morn.

☺

* At least it has if you are on CET, observing daylight saving, or on a more easterly time zone. For GMT users there are about 90 minutes to go 🙂 With apologies in advance for errors of syntax, orthography and grammar which may be found embedded in this document whether arising from oversight, incorrect application of language packs or generally any other misadventure; and in general for any offence given inadvertently or inappropriately or both taken or not taken by those whose sensibilities, whether grammatical, orthographical, moral or simply personable, have been offended whether, not or if you have not incorrectly misunderstood the content, intent, meaning and purpose of this article, and to those whose copyrights may have been inadvertently or wantonly infringed, but never as to cause damage the copy holder’s rights, and, if you have managed to read this far, for any errors or omissions whether wilful, unintended, innocent or deliberate in the content of this polemic, and with thanks to you who have made it thus far for your patience.