η αυτοκτονια του η-αυ

The original thought, which was not original to me, was that the chapter would open with the words:

   As Eeyore slipped his neck into the noose…

But upon further reflection it was apparent that such an opening would raise many questions which, in consideration of the possible consequences of Eeyore’s action would have been of necessity left unanswered. It was therefore considered that a more open approach to the situation in which we found Eeyore would provide the appropriate opportuntities to speak about, to explore and to expose the context in which the most unfortunate incident arose:

It was a far brighter and sunnier morn than that to which the inhabitants of the Hundred Acre wood were accustomed. Such a morn as this was rarely seen. The butterflies fluttered by, and the bees hummed busily as they gathered the nectar and pollens which, by and by, would be turned into the honey that our dear friend Pooh loved to use to suage his voracious appetite.

Piglet and Roo were playing together going deeper and deeper into the wood towards the house in which Eeyore lived. They were enjoying the warm fresh air of the forest as it mingled with the aromas of a thousand fresh flowers.

All at once they found a rope hanging from a tree.

A swing, cried Roo and ran towards it as fast as he could, which was much faster than most of the other animals could run.

Wait for me-eee! cried Piglet, who then remembered that it might be Owl’s door bell. Be careful! he shouted, but it was too late, Roo was swinging on the rope for all his might, and so high that Piglet thought he might lose him in the tops of the trees.

This was not Owl’s rope then, but if it did not belong to Owl, to whom did it belong? Piglet tried to think very hard.

Just then Eeyore appeared walking as he does slowly into the clearing where Roo was swinging wildly from the rope.

What are you two doing with MY rope, Eeyore asked.

Your rope, Eeyore?, they replied.

Yes, my rope. I left it there hoping someone might come along and be so kind, not that I suppose some one would be so kind, – taking the end of the rope between his teeth, for Roo had stopped swinging and was listening both intently and very excitedly – and he continued: be so kind as to help me tie a k-not in it.

Tie a what in it?, they both asked wondering what a k-not was.

A k-not, that is what I said, didn’t I? Eeyore replied in his inimitable way.

Yes, but why? And how?, Piglet wondered out loud.

I can’t show you how, these hooves and teeth are simply not up to the job, not up to the job you know. It is the missing opposable thumb that is the problem. But I can tell you how to do it. Owl told me. It will make a better swing if we put a loop in it.

Oh! let’s do it then, said Piglet full of excitement.

Piglet and Roo worked together listening carefully to Eeyore’s instructions. It was not so easy, and sometimes they had to undo what they had done in order to do it again.

But eventually they completed the work and when they had finished, Eeyore asked them to find something round to put inside the loop so that it would keep its shape.

That’s a good idea, said Piglet, and he trotted off to do so with Roo bouncing after him. On the way they met Kanga who announced that it really was time for Roo to go to bed.

But, but, but we have to find something for Eeyore, they protested, and proceeded to tell Kanga all about the day’s events.

We shall see about that then, Kanga replied, Christopher Robin will surely know what is needed and have the right sort of Special Equipment. We shall go to find him, but no more than half an hour mind, and then it is to bed.

They went to find Christopher Robin.

Meanwhile, Eeyore had been examining the knot that Piglet and Roo had put together in the rope.

He lifted his head and pulled the knot gently with his teeth. Yes it slipped quite nicely, just as Owl had told him that it would. Splendid, he thought to himself, it is the very thing that I need, as if I would need anything, and to call it splendid hardly describes its purpose well, but then what could.

Now he took hold of the rope above the knot and slowly climbed with it up the nearby bank. He had very carefully made sure that that would be possible to do that with the rope before our two little friends arrived.

As he reached the top of the rise, he stopped. A dark cloud passed by the sun, and for a moment Eeyore thought it might rain. A fitting end, he said to himself in the very heavy way that only Eeyore can say things, especially when he says them to himself.

He paused for a moment to reflect. There is nothing for it, he said in his deep throated voice. Then as Eeyore slipped his neck into the noose that Piglet and Roo had carefully prepared for him, Christopher Robin ran into the clearing. Eeyore! he cried out, I have just the thing. This will stop the knot from slip….

All was quiet in the clearing

*

as Eeyore swang happily in the new swing.

* But what happened in the gap? There are of course two, and only two, possible ways in which to fill this gap. The one you choose will depend upon your predilection for Eeyore and your own predisposition of course. So which ending will you choose?

All was quiet in the clearing. Christopher Robin looked on helplessly and as hopelessly as Eeyore, until that moment, had thought things were. The cloud had passed by, and the butterflies continued to flutter by and the bees continued to hum, as Eeyore swang happily in the new swing.

Or,

All was quiet in the clearing but what a surprise! Eeyore landed in Christopher Robin’s outstretched hands. O! Eeyore, he cried, I do love you. Giving him a great big hug, he placed him on the ground and fitted the swing with its Special Equipment, then carefully placing Eeyore back into the swing gave him a gentle push. That will be much more comfortable for you now, Eeyore, he smiled.

Kanga, Roo and Piglet, who had been left behind by Christopher Robin, then arrived at and entered the clearing just as Eeyore swang happily in the new swing.

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