Humour

Offences

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Offences, which do not like a joke – an open letter

Have you heard the one about the Yorkshireman, the Cornishman and the man of Kent? It doesn’t quite have the ring about it as an opening line as ‘Have you heard the one about the Irishman, the Scotsman and the Englishman?’ But if Coco used the latter, Coco would get away with the rest of it in an English public house, providing none of the English liberal elite were present, and might regret the long, but deserved, stay in hospital if Coco tried it in Clonmel. What the reaction would be in Aberdeen is as clear as whether Schrödinger’s cat is alive or dead.

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The Turk’s head

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Knotty problems require several solutions

It was an article on the BBC which reminded me, but Coco forgets which among the many thousands it was.

The building work had at the last reached its completion and Lakshmi, the very capable and ferocious forewoman, had left her three workers, Erdogan, Mahmud and Stephen, whom she trusted without reservation, to clear up. Stephen, who was able to read and assimilate plans and instructions quickly and accurately, was a bright and sparkling electrician but willing to turn his hand to most aspects of building work. Mahmud was as strong as an ox, ready, willing and able to carry out any instruction given to him with a swiftness and certainty unparalleled among men. He was not given to reading but could mix plaster and cement in huge quantities and lay bricks in straight rows and even lines. Erdogan was every bit a plumber by nature, a plumber by trade and a plumber by size, but knew his rafters from his joists without even thinking about it. He was also exceptional with plaster. If anything could be plastered, he could skim it.

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Farming targets

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How to use a cane

A tautologous repetition of conceptual ideas will not produce the making of a taxonomic classification of factual data items however well clothed with an investment in a garb of reasonable logic, but it may provide a cane with which to rod those with whom your tolerance will have nothing to do.

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Conspiracies

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It has been said if a lie is to believed it must be a big one

Now certain reports have suggested to Coco that not many of you are likely to read this post through as it is too long, nevertheless it shall be long. Sometimes a short rebuke is both necessary and effective, but in reasoning and critique a longer reply may be required. Another reason for you not wanting to read it through might be that it is far too convoluted, perhaps, some would say, dense or even turgid, but whatever your reason might be Coco hopes that you will be able to overcome any such propensity and continue to plough a furrow through it such as shall not be erased at least not before the late rains have come.

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Lockdown

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Coco has been clearing out for shredding old files which have lain in loft space for twenty years….not much changes apart from the writing technology. The attached picture is a scan of the opening paragraph of a letter sent to him in the ember months of, Coco thinks, 1987 but it may have been ’86 or ’88.

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